Coaching Problem

[yanksconstantino24]

I coach basketball for girls ages 8-10 at my old grade school. Our season is going very well so far (4-1; first place), but I'm having trouble with one player. This girl has a major hygiene problem, and the other girls are starting to make jokes about it behind her back. (it doesn't help that she's mean to them as welll). I try my best to tell the team as a whole not to make fun of one another, because I don't want to just come out and say, "Stop making jokes about so and so," because that would only draw more attention to the problem. Plus, I realize how this sort of thing can be funny from the perspective of girls their age. My biggest problem is I'm now concerned about how healthy this is. Last week, I attended an ice-cream party at school, on Tuesday, where this girl somehow got chocolate syrup in her hair. At the game on Saturday, it was still there. Its pretty safe to assume that she hadn't had a shower from Tuesday to Saturday.

Does anyone have any ideas on how to handle a situation like this. My sister (one of the girls on the team) has already threatened to call the girls parents and tell them she stinks, but I really don't want her doing that. It probably is a good idea to notify her parents, but how do I do that? I don't want to offend them or make this girl feel worse than she already does. Is there a good way to go about this?

[CoyoteYankee]

That's sad. My friend was an RA at my college ant there was actually a girl in her freshman dorm who had a hygiene problem. As RA she had to sit down with her an explain the importance of hygiene, give her literature and basically tell her that she had to shower every day and put on deodorant. It was really hard for her to do.

However I don't recommend that you do that in this situation because of the age of the girl. You probably shouldn't talk directly to the parents either. I would notify a guidance counselor. If there aren't any guidance counselors at your school then I would notify the vice principal or principal. My friend is a guidance counselor for young girls and she is trained to handle these situations.

Just my

[JDPNYY]

That's sad. My friend was an RA at my college ant there was actually a girl in her freshman dorm who had a hygiene problem. As RA she had to sit down with her an explain the importance of hygiene, give her literature and basically tell her that she had to shower every day and put on deodorant. It was really hard for her to do.

However I don't recommend that you do that in this situation because of the age of the girl. You probably shouldn't talk directly to the parents either. I would notify a guidance counselor. If there aren't any guidance counselors at your school then I would notify the vice principal or principal. My friend is a guidance counselor for young girls and she is trained to handle these situations.

Just my

I agree with this advice. We're up to 4 cents now.

Kudos to you for coaching the girls!

[yanksconstantino24]

Unfortunately, the school does not have a guidance counselor, or a vice principal (its closing at the end of this year). The other coach and I are going to try and schedule a meeting with the principal as soon as possible.

[yankeebot]

I agree with previous posters that the school authorities should handle it. This probably will fall into the "bullying" catagory and should be taken seriously. A school nurse could also serve as an ally.

[fredgmuggs]

If the school is closing, I'm guessing that this is a parochial school and that makes me very surprised that this situation hasn't already been addressed by someone in the school. I do agree with everyone else, you should take this problem to the school authorities and let them handle it.

[LilChief]

Linda makes a good point...the school nurse would be a good person to get involved in this.

[Trish]

You could talk privately to the parents, although if they had a clue, they'd have done something about it already. The school nurse is probably the best option, but you may have to talk to her yourself, in as gentle a way as possible, and tell her what she needs to do.

Then you need to talk to the other girls and nip the bullying in the bud. Because that's what it is. Bullying.

[DontHateOnNumber2]

I could see how the nurse would be an alright person, but has it occurred that maybe the child's family is having financial problems thus cutting off hot water? Maybe talking privately with the parents (if they seem as untidy) would do well to cross off your list of possible scenarios for why the child doesn't shower. Maybe if my assumption is correct there could be a way to give the family access to a shower on a regular basis for a while.

[yanksconstantino24]

I could see how the nurse would be an alright person, but has it occurred that maybe the child's family is having financial problems thus cutting off hot water? Maybe talking privately with the parents (if they seem as untidy) would do well to cross off your list of possible scenarios for why the child doesn't shower. Maybe if my assumption is correct there could be a way to give the family access to a shower on a regular basis for a while.

I highly doubt this is for financial reasons, because I've been around the parents and older children (in high school and college) and none of them have this problem.

This is a very small parochial school (110 students K-8), and they don't have a school nurse.

[yanksconstantino24]

For those of you interested, I got a chance to meet with the principal, as well as the girl's teacher yesterday. The teacher said that she had noticed the problem as well. The principal is going to notify the girl's parents and give them a month to get their child cleaned properly. If not, they are being reported to a child service organization.

[CoyoteYankee]

For those of you interested, I got a chance to meet with the principal, as well as the girl's teacher yesterday. The teacher said that she had noticed the problem as well. The principal is going to notify the girl's parents and give them a month to get their child cleaned properly. If not, they are being reported to a child service organization.

That sounds like the right approach. Good job!

[yankeebot]

For those of you interested, I got a chance to meet with the principal, as well as the girl's teacher yesterday. The teacher said that she had noticed the problem as well. The principal is going to notify the girl's parents and give them a month to get their child cleaned properly. If not, they are being reported to a child service organization.

Good job! Give yourself a pat on the back. By not sitting silently you may have prevented a lot of hardship for that little girl. It is a shame, though, that her teacher noticed the problem and did not act.

[yanksconstantino24]

Good job! Give yourself a pat on the back. By not sitting silently you may have prevented a lot of hardship for that little girl. It is a shame, though, that her teacher noticed the problem and did not act.

I found it a little odd that the teacher didn't really do much about this. Especially because, as I said before, this is a very small school. When I went there, each class had about 30 kids, and the teachers knew everything about everyone. This class only has ten kids in it.

[SheffRocks11]

You could talk privately to the parents, although if they had a clue, they'd have done something about it already. The school nurse is probably the best option, but you may have to talk to her yourself, in as gentle a way as possible, and tell her what she needs to do.

Then you need to talk to the other girls and nip the bullying in the bud. Because that's what it is. Bullying.

I agree with this.