Here are some funny courtroom quotes from lawyers and people on the stand:
courtroom gaffes
Here are some funny courtroom quotes from lawyers and people on the stand:
courtroom gaffes
I represent me, myself, and I...If you have any questions please direct them towards me.
Those were actually really funny.
--Misti
Has anybody noticed we have a color option called "lemon chiffon?"
This was my favorite.
Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk, in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.
pretty fun stuff. i bet there are thousands of those.
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
----------------------------------------
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk, in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.
Most of us can spell
Originally Posted by Jersey Yankee
1923•1927•1928•1932•1936•1937•1938•1939•1941•1943•1947•1949•1950 1951•1952•1953•1956•1958•1961•1962•1977•1978•1996•1998•1999•2000 2009 27-TIME WORLD CHAMPIONS
I believe that is the English way to spell practicing.
I say some pretty funny things sometimes.
here's my fave:
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
"I love Shawn Chacon
So put another dime in the jukebox baby
I love Shawn Chacon
so come and take your time and dance with me." (Snap731)
True story:
My old friend Donna was training a new receptionist at her job. She gave her a sheet explaining how to answer the phone, which read: "Dr. Smith's office, [your name] speaking". Which is exactly what the new receptionist said. Donna said, "no, let me show you" - the phone rang, Donna picked up and said, "Dr. Smith's office, Donna speaking", handled the call and told the new receptionist to answer the next call. New receptionist picks up phone and said, "Dr. Smith's office, Donna speaking". Needless to say, new receptionist was fired receptionist very quickly!
To be sane is more dramatic than to be mad - GK Chesterton, Orthodoxy
That's the way Brits spell it.
these are funny i find it hard to believe though that they really happened in a court of law
I like this one:
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
I would have answered "If I could remember what I forgot, I wouldn't have forgotten it."
Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer. ~Ted Williams
None of this would ever happen to Jack McCoy, that's for sure.
3 4 5 7 8 10 16 37
I hate law and order.
Ugh... what an airhead.
"I love Shawn Chacon
So put another dime in the jukebox baby
I love Shawn Chacon
so come and take your time and dance with me." (Snap731)
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