Are you ready for Halloween 2009?

[JDPNYY]

Halloween is just a short 31 days away. Are you ready?

This year Halloween falls on a Saturday.



As you all know, Halloween is for children, and as I'm no longer a child, I don't even hand out candy. I turn out all the lights and shut the blinds so people think no one's home. I can't be bothered to sit at the front door for hours and just pass out candy.

I have better things to do. I don't have time to sit there and hand out candy to little kids dressed like Barbie and Harry Potter.

I act like no one's home, they don't bother me.

Of course this year will be particularly troublesome (and challenging) as the little kiddies will have no school that day. They'll be out begging in force all day long.


I never went trick-or-treating. You know why? I grew up in a gang-infested neighborhood in Alpine, NJ. You didn't go out of doors parading around after dark. It wasn't smart. The cops would ride down the street telling everyone to get back inside.

We all went to the school, stood around in our costumes, got handed bags of candy and went home.

I have ZERO desire to have to keep running to the front door to hand out candy. If there's someone else home, I make them do it. Unfortunately, I'll be the only one home as my family will be performing in a Tuba Quartet Concert. Therefore, the porch light stays off.

There are many, many, MANY other homes in my subdivision that will be handing out candy; missing out on our house will not scar the little kiddies for life.

I didn't grow up in some suburban, idyllic wonderland where there were white picket fences and swingsets in every backyard. I grew up in Alpine, NJ, in a bad neighborhood and you know what......I'm not missing anything because I didn't go knocking on strangers' doors asking for chocolate.

3 kids were picked up for vandalising our property last year. I think it was 2 the year before that.

Our subdivison isn't gated. You can drive in from any of the other subdivisions in the area, and the more upper-crust subdivisions is where these kids come from. These are spoiled little rich-kids with nothing else better to do.

That and there's some real messed up teenagers in our own subdivision.


I personally think grown adults dressing up in costumes is silly for Halloween.


Of course, dressing up for Thanksgiving is awesome. I can't wait to break out my Butternut Squash costume.

[fredgmuggs]

You didn't leave me much, did you?

[Trish]

Whore!

[JL25and3]

Whore!

Accusation or advertisement?

[Sam18]

My friend Marie and I will be spending the night watching porn and laughing at it.

[Trish]

Accusation or advertisement?

I guess you weren't around in the Bombshell days?

SnatchCatch used to get her all riled up with that word. It was hilarious.

[JL25and3]

My friend Marie and I will be spending the night watching porn and laughing at it.

Make sure she's fully inflated first.

[jlw1980]

JDP took all the good lines.

Of course, if he really hated Halloween, he wouldn't have started this thread!

[yankeeschic12324]

[JDPNYY]

JDP took all the good lines.

Of course, if he really hated Halloween, he wouldn't have started this thread!

It took me like twenty minutes. Give me some credit here.

[jlw1980]

My friend Marie and I will be spending the night watching porn and laughing at it.

Your "friend"?

[jlw1980]

Make sure she's fully inflated first.

Nice. I was going to ask on which street corner he picked up this "friend".

[Mark19]

I remember going to a Boy Scout camp in Alpine, NJ

Scary stuff indeed

[jlw1980]

It took me like twenty minutes. Give me some credit here.

Oh, I give you tons of credit. Good job. I just wish you'd left some material for the rest of us.

[fredgmuggs]

JDP took all the good lines.

Of course, if he really hated Halloween, he wouldn't have started this thread!

I need to buy a pumpkin and some indian corn for my front door. Fall has kind of snuck up on me this year - I haven't bought any mums yet.

[Trish]

Oh, I give you tons of credit. Good job. I just wish you'd left some material for the rest of us.

There's a wealth of material left.

[JDPNYY]

Oh, I give you tons of credit. Good job. I just wish you'd left some material for the rest of us.

I threw in a couple little tidbits... Like Alpine NJ... Not exactly the slums.

[Sam18]

People who don't know bombshell jokes should just refrain from posting. I'm looking at you JL and Jlw.

[Sam18]

I threw in a couple little tidbits... Like Alpine NJ... Not exactly the slums.

Sacha Baron Cohen would be proud.

[JDPNYY]

There's a wealth of material left.

Truer words have never been spoken

[fredgmuggs]

People who don't know bombshell jokes should just refrain from posting. I'm looking at you JL and Jlw.

Want to go to Jock and Jills for trivia night?

[jlw1980]

I need to buy a pumpkin and some indian corn for my front door. Fall has kind of snuck up on me this year - I haven't bought any mums yet.

I too need some autumn decorations. It's definitely my favorite season.

Maybe I can get my mom to mail me some of her superfluous decorations. She has hordes of them.

[jlw1980]

People who don't know bombshell jokes should just refrain from posting. I'm looking at you JL and Jlw.

You're dumb. I was around when Bombshell was here.

[JDPNYY]

What is the significance of the following?


Just David being David.



With few hundred Krispy Kremes.

[JDPNYY]

Want to go to Jock and Jills for trivia night?

I hear they are going to have Irish dancers, a bagpiper, corned beef and cabbage, and a bunch of other cool stuff.

[SalingerNY]

Make sure she's fully inflated first.

Crushed.

[SalingerNY]

I'm just kind of staggered that this wasn't posed as a QOD.

[JDPNYY]

Now I know why people get so annoyed at me.

I'm annoyed, damn it.

We've got this game guys. I'm not worried, annoyed, but not worried.


I'm paying attention, but I'm growing steadily and steadily more annoyed as the game goes on.


That said, if the Yanks win the WS this year, I'm going to be very annoyed if I see the same people who decryed the team and proclaimed them bums, worthless and garbage all of a sudden exclaiming "I always knew they could do it."

What annoyed me was that the Yanks were one out away from winning.

Oh yes......big bad Liz is annoyed at the children again. Gee, I must be punished. No ice cream tonight.


Most people would be annoyed if you pooped in the shower.

I'm extremely annoyed......no, I'm hella annoyed.

I'm kind of annoyed.

[Trish]

Dear Yankees,


Score now, or die.

Sincerely,

NYYBombshell

[Barb51850]

I'll be in Atlantic City on Halloween night. Should be fun!

[JDPNYY]

Hey, if thinking I'm an idiot makes you feel good about yourself, go right ahead.

[Trish]

The only Mets fan I knew was my best friend's ex-boyfriend. He liked to beat on her, call her names, and generally degrade her in public. So I beat the ................ out him and threw him into a dumpster. Needless to say, I don't like Mets fans.

[CptCrunch]

Farewell, sweet prince.

[JDPNYY]

I've been in college since 2000, and that includes the year I took off when we moved to Georgia and I had to establish residency.

I want to get out of college and start making my millions.

[BxBomber44]

Well, my gf is coming up and we're playing Missouri at home that night. Holy cow.

Not my gf and I... Colorado Football is.

We're gnna dress up though.

[GordonGecko]

If all goes well on Halloween I'll be in either Los Angeles or Philadelphia watching the Yankees go for #27

[theDurk]

Halloween night checklist:
Blackout curtains closed.......check
Garage door closed.....check
Outside lights off.....check
Road number sign removed....check
Yankee World Series game on TV......check

There are 7 houses on my cul-de-sac with a total of +/- 18 kids, none of them mine, who are way too old and don't live here anyway. They missed it growing up as we were in Brazil those years--but they had Carnaval which beats the carp out of Hallowe'en anytime. Better weather, better costumes, better music, no stinkin' candy and a LOT more fun.

When I was a kid, this was a rural area and we had to TorT by car, as it was a mile or two between houses, and you never went to people you didn't know. I hated costumes then and I still do now. Whole thing was pretty boring except for the candy. I did like KandyKorn.

[BonusCantos]

Nobody trick-or-treats on my road if they want to live to see November 1st.

[krystl]

I guess you weren't around in the Bombshell days?

SnatchCatch used to get her all riled up with that word. It was hilarious.

I thought of her as soon as I read a couple of lines.

[SalingerNY]

I'm cooking dinner this year for Halloween, and I don't eat meat.

[GordonGecko]

I'm cooking dinner this year for Halloween, and I don't eat meat.

No problem! someone will cook you some lamb

[LongLiveBernie51!]

I've had the same opinion from start to finish. I think it's silly for adults to dress up on Halloween because I view it as a child's holiday.

That said, the reason I'm not passing out candy THIS year is because I'm going to be too busy working. The reason I normally don't to begin with is because I can't be bothered to get up every time the doorbell rings. If my sister is home or my parents are home, I ask them to do it for me. That way, the kids get candy and I don't have to get off my ass. They're not getting anything THIS year from our house because there's no one else there to do it for me.

Try and follow along.

[Barb51850]

I've had the same opinion from start to finish. I think it's silly for adults to dress up on Halloween because I view it as a child's holiday.

That said, the reason I'm not passing out candy THIS year is because I'm going to be too busy working. The reason I normally don't to begin with is because I can't be bothered to get up every time the doorbell rings. If my sister is home or my parents are home, I ask them to do it for me. That way, the kids get candy and I don't have to get off my ass. They're not getting anything THIS year from our house because there's no one else there to do it for me.

Try and follow along.

My family and I take turns standing outside the house with candy. This way no one rings the bell, and the kids get their treats.

Our local stores give out candy and change to the kids. Last year I saw this sign in one of the stores:

"No candy if you are not wearing a costume"

[Mantle'sMutt]

Accusation or advertisement?

Costume.

[Mantle'sMutt]

My girlfriend in college was obsessed with doing Halloween costumes. You can only pull off the priest and pregnant nun thing once, though.

[Bub]

I need to buy a pumpkin and some indian corn for my front door.

Get with the times, Muggs. It's Native American Corn.

[xxltaco]

Get with the times, Muggs. It's Native American Corn.

what if it's from new delhi?

[Mantle'sMutt]

what if it's from new delhi?

already eaten corn

[xxltaco]

okay, here's my halloween.

on halloween eve (is that all hallow's eve eve???), we're taking our little girl, maxine, to a costume party (any ideas for her costume are welcome, btw...she'll be almost 17 months old by then)

on saturday morning, we drop maxine off at my sisters, then the wife and i are flying to LA to attend a new club opening that my buddy designed (he's an architect). the party is being hosted by heidi klum, and evidently it's going to be quite the affair. i love hollyweird. such freaks!

[Mantle'sMutt]

Halloween night checklist:
Blackout curtains closed.......check
Garage door closed.....check
Outside lights off.....check
Road number sign removed....check
Yankee World Series game on TV......check

There are 7 houses on my cul-de-sac with a total of +/- 18 kids, none of them mine, who are way too old and don't live here anyway. They missed it growing up as we were in Brazil those years--but they had Carnaval which beats the carp out of Hallowe'en anytime. Better weather, better costumes, better music, no stinkin' candy and a LOT more fun.

When I was a kid, this was a rural area and we had to TorT by car, as it was a mile or two between houses, and you never went to people you didn't know. I hated costumes then and I still do now. Whole thing was pretty boring except for the candy. I did like KandyKorn.

Now, you're the guy that gets the flaming-bag-o-poop on his porch.