We are to believe that a Pro V1 disappeared into a Southern California palm tree, fell to earth, ricocheted across a green, made its way into the hole, and nobody saw it until the woman who hit it asked someone to look in the hole.
OK, Julia Roberts married Lyle Lovett, so strange things happen. Happens once where a palm tree kicks you into the hole, OK, you're living right. Happens twice, it's a minor miracle. Can't happen again.
But in 2007, Jackie Gagne insists, it happened for her seven times. Seven times she hit par-3 tee shots that could not be found until someone went to the hole, looked in, and expressed one more version of Elvira excitement.
Unbelievably, those seven strokes of accidental good fortune were not even half of the story that made Gagne a national and international golfing celebrity. Nine more times this year, last in July, she reported holes-in-one.
Those nine gave her 16 holes-in-one in six months, which, as measure of the story's breathtaking nature, is two more holes-in-one than Bobby Jones, Ben Hogan and Byron Nelson made in their lifetimes, combined.
Quickly, let's account for those 16. To start, subtract three because there's no hard evidence she played at those places. Then drop two more because there's record of only one witness and she would not agree to an interview.
Now we're at 11. On two of those, two witnesses reported Gagne's shots rolling toward the hole, disappearing behind swales, and being found in the cup.
On the remaining nine, I talked to eight witnesses. They agreed on four things: (1) They never saw a Gagne shot hit a green, (2) never saw her ball roll on the green, (3) never saw a ball go in the hole, and (4) someone always found Gagne's ball in the hole.