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Here are some funny courtroom quotes from lawyers and people on the stand:
courtroom gaffes (http://www.businessballs.com/courtroom.htm)
SuperMario66
01-05-06, 11:14 AM
Those were actually really funny. :lol:
nhyankeefan
01-05-06, 11:58 AM
This was my favorite.
Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk, in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.
thecaptain
01-05-06, 12:09 PM
pretty fun stuff. i bet there are thousands of those.
NYYBombshell
01-05-06, 12:10 PM
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
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:lol::lol::lol:
RhodeyYankee2638
01-05-06, 12:24 PM
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk, in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.
Most of us can spell
NYYRules#1
01-05-06, 02:24 PM
:lol: :lol: :lol:
YankyDave
01-05-06, 02:26 PM
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Most of us can spell
I believe that is the English way to spell practicing.
I say some pretty funny things sometimes.
Irabu's Son
01-05-06, 03:31 PM
here's my fave:
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
allybear
01-05-06, 04:50 PM
here's my fave:
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
True story:
My old friend Donna was training a new receptionist at her job. She gave her a sheet explaining how to answer the phone, which read: "Dr. Smith's office, [your name] speaking". Which is exactly what the new receptionist said. Donna said, "no, let me show you" - the phone rang, Donna picked up and said, "Dr. Smith's office, Donna speaking", handled the call and told the new receptionist to answer the next call. New receptionist picks up phone and said, "Dr. Smith's office, Donna speaking". Needless to say, new receptionist was fired receptionist very quickly!
NYYBombshell
01-05-06, 05:20 PM
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Most of us can spell
That's the way Brits spell it.
Arod for President
01-05-06, 05:33 PM
these are funny i find it hard to believe though that they really happened in a court of law
Barb51850
01-05-06, 06:51 PM
I like this one:
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
I would have answered "If I could remember what I forgot, I wouldn't have forgotten it."
Casey37
01-05-06, 07:09 PM
None of this would ever happen to Jack McCoy, that's for sure. ;)
Irabu's Son
01-06-06, 11:06 AM
True story:
My old friend Donna was training a new receptionist at her job. She gave her a sheet explaining how to answer the phone, which read: "Dr. Smith's office, [your name] speaking". Which is exactly what the new receptionist said. Donna said, "no, let me show you" - the phone rang, Donna picked up and said, "Dr. Smith's office, Donna speaking", handled the call and told the new receptionist to answer the next call. New receptionist picks up phone and said, "Dr. Smith's office, Donna speaking". Needless to say, new receptionist was fired receptionist very quickly!
Ugh... what an airhead.
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