1fe1 Boston Papers may say otherwise, but Bill Brasky is a son of a bitch [Archive] - NYYFans.com Forum

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Jasbro
11-21-05, 10:56 PM
First: Bill Brasky is a son of a bitch.

Second: Best damn salesman in the office.

Third: To Bill Brasky.

Together: To Bill Brasky!

First: An 8', 2-ton monster who can palm a medicine ball. [laughter] That's what he is.

Woman: Excuse me, excuse me. A lot of us have come here to watch our children. Would you please just stop drinking and yelling?

Second: You got a nice caboose on you, honey.

Third: Sure do.

First: Yeah.

Woman: You are horrible men.

Second: Come on junior. If you don't catch the ball I'll put the dog to sleep.

First: You're a fine father.

Third: Yeah.

Second: Last night I tried to kill myself again.

First: So anyway, Brasky would put on a white tie and tails and would walk his cobra through the park on a leash. He named the cobra Beverly, and he taught it how to fetch and dial a phone. But then one day it bit the maid. So with tears in his eyes Brasky had to shoot the maid.

Second: Brasky would use his own thigh as an anvil.

Third: You know it was the sight of Brasky's naked body that drove Brian Wilson insane.

Second: He showers in grain alcohol.

First: He uses a shroud of tourine as a golf towel.

Second: He killed Wolfman Jack with a trident.

Third: He drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

First: His first name is Bill. [pause] I'm drunk.

Second: He makes every woman that sleeps with him refer to him as Bear Bryant.

First: He once ate the bible while water skiing.

Third: Did I ever tell you he once had sex with a cigarette machine?!

First: [Incoherent mumbling] You're damn right and every kid on this field was fathered by Bill Brasky. Every one of them.

Second: To Bill Brasky.

Together: BILL BRASKY!

Mark19
11-21-05, 11:21 PM
Bill Brasky once scissor-kicked Angela Lansbury

Giambina
11-21-05, 11:32 PM
"Bill Brasky once gave me a videotape of him having sex with my wife, and it was the most beautiful damn thing I ever saw!"




-Surely you can't be serious.
I am serious, and don't call me Shirley

Jasbro
11-21-05, 11:33 PM
First friend of Brasky: Hey, do you fellas know a guy by the name of Bill Brasky?

Second: Yeah, I know Bill Brasky. He's a 10 foot-tall beast-man, who showers in vodka, and feeds his baby shrimp scampi.

Third: Best damn trader on the floor.

Second: He orchestrated the merger between UNICEF and Smith and Wesson.

Third: Brasky went public with his own buttocks and made 7 million.

First: To Bill Brasky.

Together: Bill Brasky!

First: Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky and I went hunting?

Second: I masturbate to the Teletubbies.

First: Anyway, Brasky decides he's going to hunt down all four of the 'Banana Splits.' He stalks and kills every one of them with a machete. They all begged for their lives except Flegal.

Third: We once had a bachelor party for Bill Brasky. He ate the entire cake, before we could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Second: Brasky once hosted the Grammy's and gave every award to Corey Hart.

First: He has a toenail on the end of his penis.

Third: Brasky got his wife pregnant and she gave birth to a delicious 16 oz. steak.

Second: The afterbirth was sautéed mushrooms.

First: Brasky's family crest is a picture of a barracuda eating Neil Armstrong.

Third: Brasky is ranked 8th in the AP College Football poll.

Giambina
11-21-05, 11:33 PM
"One time I was with Brasky in the back of a pickup truck, along with a live deer. Brasky goes up to the deer and says, 'I'm Bill Brasky! SAY IT!' Then he manipulates the deer's lips in such a way as to make it say, 'Billbrasky' ... It wasn't exactly like it, but it was pretty good for a deer!'"

Giambina
11-21-05, 11:35 PM
Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky took me out to go get a drink with him? We go off looking for a bar and we can't find one. Finally Brasky takes me to a vacant lot and says, 'Here we are.' We sat there for a year and a half and sure enough someone constructs a bar around us. The day they opened we ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Brasky yelled over the roar of the flames, 'Always leave things the way you found em!'"

Soriambi
11-21-05, 11:37 PM
I liked those skits, but I have no idea why this is in the Hot Stove Forum. :)

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